What I Really Want To Be Is A Writer

A few years ago, I had this idea to tell my “McAllister Code” story from another perspective. One that didn’t include me or aliens, but that told the story of a variety of Sarasotans who weather this variety of storms and how they make their way through it. When I recovered my chest from the Bay Shore House, I found my notes among the other writing that I have saved, and have been giving more thought to the possibility of reviving the story.
I realize that, considering the number of projects that I have put upon myself as Renaissance Man, and the number of business plans, scripts, articles, and other stuff that I say that I am going to write, yet somehow keep managing to put on the backburner, given that I have much more on my plate than is actually possible to accomplish in my lifetime, it may seem ridiculous to even entertain the idea of taking on another novel. However, my plan, if I can manage to actually follow though with it, is to write every day, and actually disciplining myself to become what I have dreamed of.
typing        For years, I’ve thrown out this “write the world’ motto, and for the most part, I’ve lived up to it. I have finished a couple of books, screenplays, poems, and articles. But because I have been so obtuse in my rallying against our societal makeup and the nonsense it churns out, I have been foolishly reluctant to assign myself to any sort of schedule, discipline, or hard and fast rules. While this has a lot of fun in the exploration of all possibilities, I feel that it is time, since I am finally 42 and technically some sort of adult, that I finally grow up and get a job.
I’ve always said that if I were to have an ideal job, it would be as a writer. In my half assed attempts at publication, I have sold an incredibly modest amount of books, and because I am no big fan of the competitive consumerist thunder-dome of industry that surrounds the publishing world, I haven’t been quick to jump into it. Yet, as I have realized the joy of working for the sake of working, I have also regained a new appreciation for writing for the sake of writing, and now that I have a more cohesive direction on what I would like to write about, I am finding much more joy in getting these words to line up they way they’re supposed to.
In my role as Renaissance Man, my underlying desire was to become a man of success in a way that anyone could. In other words, I did not want to become successful because of any of my particular talents, inspiring people by my ability to merely utilize the machine, but I wanted to find success beyond individuation. I realize that either sounds incredibly pompous or incredibly virtuous, and it may very well be that it’s a bit of both. Nevertheless, I wanted to be something more than just someone who was good at something and made a lot of money at it. I wanted to be someone who helped to change people’s lives, a lot of people’s lives.
Maybe I’ll be able to change people’s lives through this story that I tell, and maybe I’ll change them through the words I write in between them. Regardless, I’m feeling much more driven to put these words in the proper order, and I am finding my flow in the process. When all is said and done, that is the most important thing anyway. For the only way I can help other people find their flow is to find my own.

 

 

Steve McAllister is the author of The Rucksack Letters and How to Survive an Estralarian Mind Meld. He posts regularly at InkenSoul.com, and sometimes posts atAnything ArtsSarasota Music Scene, and Elephant Journal, and is currently the Director of Operational Development for the Common Wealth Time Bank in Sarasota, Florida. Follow him on TwitterFacebook, and YouTube.

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