Me and Vern at the HuB

I’m starting to attend more events at the HuB, and aside from the bit of smack talk they get from people around town, I recognize that people around town are generally afraid of their own shadow as much as the specter of anything new and different, and I genuinely like what they’ve got going on. There is no doubt that we have our differences, but for the most part, I’m on board with a lot of what they’re doing. Some events, though, just don’t seem very worthwhile.

I’m sure that the initial idea to have Vern Buchanan come speak about creativity and professionalism seemed like a good one. After all, the dude is our congressman, and he built a really big ass building in the middle of downtown that emits all sorts of whining, bitching, and moaning noises. So I guess that sort of makes him creative. I don’t know of any other buildings that make that much noise.

Vern gave us a brief synopsis on his upbringing in a working class home of six siblings, his start in business, and his desire to create jobs. And of course, just as the hammer sees every problem as a nail, Vern seems to see the answer to all of our problems lying simply in creating jobs. I asked him, very poorly I must admit, about investing slow money into our local food shed in order to build up the collaborative economy. He said he was for it if it helped create jobs.

I’m beginning to really think that going to a politician for answers on how to meet the needs of the people is like going to a peanut farmer to learn how to care for an elephant. They are very limited on the help they can actually give. It may very well be that Vern has a soft spot for us lowly commoners and wants to see us thrive, but I just don’t think he has enough experience outside of the fiction of competition to truly help us deal with our problems. Like most people of his ilk, he’s a bit myopic, and I don’t think he’ll accept corrective lenses voluntarily.

Nevertheless, if his goal was to push talking points, he’d got some mad focusing skills. I mean, how he worked the War on TerrorTM into a talk on creative entrepreneurialism, I’ll never quite understand, but there it was, Iraq, Afghanistan, and the whole lot. I think it must be in a congressman’s contract to mention the War on TerrorTM in every speech. I wonder if they get paid royalties for it.

Anyway, I did go with an open mind and wanted to hear what Vern had to say. After all, the guy has earned his creds as a businessman, installed a giant phallus of oppulance on Main and Central, and has the biggest American flag in town. Surely, that’s all gotta mean something. I figured we could at least get the conversation started, and though I had no illusions of him taking me out fishing or anything, I thought there still might the possibility that we could put differences aside and work on some things together.

Nevertheless, Vern did more to shore up my disdain for representative democracy than anything. And again, I know that the HuB is all about elections right now, and should Rick and Assunta read this, they may very well ostracize me right out the social circles I’m not really a member of anyway, but I’m still just not buying it. Visiting America and meeting your elected officials was a really interesting experience, but I’m going back to Stevetopia. 


2 thoughts on “Me and Vern at the HuB

    • I know, but life is so much better in Stevetopia. We have know wars and live in peace with all of our neighbors. Y’all like to fight too much in America and miss out on the joy of playful collaboration. I wish I knew how to help you, but I’ll keep thinking on it.

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